I’ve dated a lot of girls that I’ve met from cold approaches, but I’ve also dated a lot of girls that I’ve met by using my skills at doing cold walkups to random girls to build a social circle of amazing girls, all of who have introduced me to their attractive girlfriends. The way I view a social circle is that a social circle is like having a boat with a giant net to catch fish instead of pickup, which is more similar to going fishing for 1 fish at a time.
Growing up in grade school, my social circle was relatively small, and it consistently mostly of people from my school and sports. However, outside of sports and school, I’d rarely hangout with these people. Thus, while attending the University of Wisconsin – Madison, I was determined to have an awesome social circle from the get-go. So I started throwing amazing parties, hung out every day with new friends and girls from the dorms, and I valued my relationships with my friends above and beyond anything else.
I found that by developing a fun social circle, I’d always have lots of interesting women around me and gave me plenty of opportunities to meet new girls. Developing a social circle became a passion of mine, but it got replaced by my newfound addiction to picking up girls.
For the first couple years of living in Los Angeles, my entire social circle revolved around Real Social Dynamics; however, I decided to make a change when I joined the young Hollywood socialite party organization, Xenii. Every Friday, we’d have all-night parties at movies studios, and, every Sunday, we’d have all-day parties by the poolside of mansions of other members in the club. Some of the sexiest girls in LA were at these parties.
My favorite Xenii summer poolside party at the mansion of the CEO of Bear Stearns.
When I started going to events, I didn’t know anyone and I was going solo, but there were regular poker events at the parties and I’d sit down to play poker and network with the guys there. My poker skills were pretty good because I used to spent hours playing poker on the internet while listening to CDs about how to pickup girls. And I always enjoyed meeting new people.
All of the guys who were members had similar interests so I found myself hanging out with a bunch of them to go to bars, make them my wingmen on trips (ie Mardi Gras in New Orleans), and to hangout at restaurants or house parties. Although my friends never studied how to pickup girls, they would walkup with me to meet girls and I’d carry the set. On the other hand, some of them were total closers with the ladies and would frequently hookup with new girls.
When I was not at the poker table, or hanging out with the other members, I was constantly doing cold approaches of girls and gaming them up and exchanging contact information. Soon, the girls and guys that I met would introduce me to their friends, and this adding perpetual motion to allow me to grow my social circle.
Sometimes, I would a female friend that I didn’t have an interest in hooking up with, so I’d do a double date with her with a cool guy friend of mine, and she would hook me up with a hot female friend as well. When I introduced the girls to really cool guys, they’d appreciate that and help me hookup with their girlfriends. And they would hookup me up with high quality girls because I introduced them to high quality guys.
I started doing this so often that I had one month where I literally had a date with a different girl every night of the week. Many of them were from cold approached myself as well as from introductions via my social circle. I’ve always been the kind of guy to field test everything to see how it would help me get hot girls.
Whenever I would go to the Xenii events, I’d text message all the other guy members that were my friends to make plans to meet up, and I’d also text message all the girls that I met at Xenii and outside of it to invite them to the events. The girls appreciated this because the events that I invited them to were absolutely amazing, and they would bring their friends along. What started off as a small handful of girls joining me eventually became several dozen girls rolling to the party with me every night. I became somewhat of a party promoter or a VIP Host.
In fact, I spent about 2-3 hours/week text messaging my social circle. Good thing I had the unlimited Verizon Wireless text message plan.
Every text message I sent out with hard sell whatever party or event that I would be involved with to make it sound like the coolest party, whether or not it was the best party or not because I knew it would become the hot party when I contacted my list (and my list of girls and guys were loyal to me because I would always make sure my events were truly fantastic).
For example, when I would organize a dinner party one day, I sent out:
“I’m hosting a special event dinner party at Magic Castle tonight at I’d love for you to join me. There will be roaming magicians, great food and drinks, and a hot crowd in a trendy mansion full of secret passages.”
On the other hand, when I would travel to cities where I didn’t know many people, I’d do similar text messages by promoting whatever nightclub I was going to attend (even if there wasn’t anything out of the ordinary happening, but hype it up so that the girls and guys I met would join me:
“I’m posting a Red Carpet event tonight at Pascha so come join me. It’ll be the hottest thing in town.”
Sometimes, my friends would get a table so we’d have a private area for our invitees to party with us. Other times, we would just party away with the rest of the people we invited. Regardless, I had a great time, and so would the people that we invited.
Although not everyone would respond to my text message, a lot of them would RSVP or tell me they wouldn’t be able to make it, but that they appreciated the invitation. Either way, it kept my name fresh in their mind so they would reciprocate by inviting me out to other events as well. Whenever holidays came by, I’d wish everyone else the best via text message (ie Happy Valentine, Day. May all your deepest, wildest fantasies come true) via hundreds of texts.
Some girls didn’t respond to my text messages for a couple years, and would suddenly show up at my parties. I actually dated a girl who was in this situation. She was dating other people, but when she became single, she started going to my parties. Suddenly, we were hanging out on 1on1s outside of my regular parties and hooking up. This is why I never get rid of a girl’s phone number even if she isn’t responding to my texts at first.
And I knew that whenever I went to a particular party, I could help make it truly outstanding by bringing a lot of hot girls. One night, the NBA basketball player, Stephen Marbury, had a party at his Starbury Mansion in the Hollywood Hills, and I texted 400 girls I met, but 50 of them showed up (which is above the average 10% response rate that I usually get, which I consider pretty awesome for such a large list). Thus, almost all of the girls at the party were invited to it by me. So I would get invited to more private parties because I became known as a guy who knew a lot of girls.
This reputation would increase in status as my list of girls that I contacted on a weekly basis (or more often) grew from a few hundred to a few thousand. All of these girls I had personally met in real life via my social circle or via cold approaches. Some of my friends use Facebook and MySpace to contact thousands of girls they don’t know to invite them to parties. Others use email newsletters, but I’ve always wanted a more personal touch.
A lot of my friends became super promoters and popular socialites in Hollywood. Many of them modeled what I was doing and I was modeling the innovations that they were doing as well. I sometimes enjoyed the social networking and politics of Young Hollywood more than picking up girls, and many of my friends were in the same boat. We just loved the process of meeting new people and the excitement of new events.
Today, several hot girls rely on me for their social life to tell them about the hot parties in town. In addition to rolling to Xenii with hot girls, I’d text message girls telling them just to go to various hot nightclubs in town with me and sell the club as the hottest party around at that particular night.
Hanging with Snoop Dogg with Girls at a Movie Studio Afterhours Party
Also, whenever I met another person I respected, like successful CEOs, peers from Real Social Dynamics, or celebrated entertainers (ie the lead singer of the rock band, Candlebox), I’d invite them to join me at the Xenii events. Soon, I’d also get invited to go on exotic vacations with other Xenii members and I would travel to Sundance Film Festival, ski trips on Big Bear Mountain, and to rent mansions with other members at the concert festival, Coachella.
I really liked doing these travel adventures with my friends and social circle because it added the diversity of doing things outside of parties. One of the things I liked about Xenii was that every party was at a different venue, and they also hosted non-party activities, such as dinners, wine-tasting, cocktails at private residences, international VIP special event invitations, and they hosted a social networking site for us to organize our own events.
Thus, I started invited others to regular dinner parties and events myself in small groups. I enjoyed doing this very much, and it reminded me of a smaller-scale version of what I did at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, but with only a selective high caliber group of people.
To manage my social life, I built multiple lists of contacts to organize the various people in my phone. I’d store people in my phones under categories: hot girls, bottle service guys, friends, hot dates. After getting a 1000 people in my phone, I moved my contacts to Excel and also organized them by city because I was doing a lot of traveling. Soon, I had a couple thousand people in my phone and started using more rigorous software. I spent hours working my lists.
Girls who were on my party list would be moved to my “hot date” list if I started inviting them out for dinner or drinks outside of parties. If it didn’t work out, I’d move them back to the “party girl” list. Many girls would go back and forth my different lists. And I’d invite girls from one list to particular events and girls from other lists to other events.
I’ve now pride my skills in building a social circle as one of my strongest skillsets. I travel so often that I’ve learned how to land in a city and build an instant social circle. Sometimes, I’ll use social networking sites, like aSmallWorld (a private invitation only social networking site). I would post about how I’m traveling to a city and meet up with whoever was interested in hanging out.
Other times, I’ll just go out to the bars or other public places and start socializing with people. I’d do this both solo and with friends depending on whether I was traveling with companions or not. Either way, I have a very easy to model system on how to build a social circle and I am not confident that whenever I live in a new city for an extended period of time, I can quickly and easily create a group of friends and meet a lot of girls through it.
Whether I am inviting people to an elite party at the Playboy Mansion, inviting people to a dinner party, or casually meeting people for a beer at a local bar, I find that by having my head on building a social circle, my overall social skills with picking up girls and all other aspects of my personal development have improved as well.
It may be constant work, it is also a lot of fun, and similar to how I am a business man who has regular operations to manage, I’ve found that by running my social life like a business, it is very profitable.